Have you ever felt disconnected, on a different wavelength to the world? And if you have, do you find yourself asking the biggest dumbest question – what’s wrong with me?
I do all the time.
I feel like I’m on my own planet, my own spinning disaster and everyone else pays me a visit. I have to be extra nice to the visitors but every now and again, like the Lion at the Zoo, I manage to escape and run amongst the holidaymakers.
Well that can scare them to death.
A day later I’ll be back inside my cage alone and wondering what is wrong with me, why did I scare them so much. They had a visit to the asylum that’s in my head and I presume they’ve gone back to their simple, amazingly correct daily lives.
Truth is though, I think most of us are thinking like that, we think nobody else understands and nobody can know what we’ve been through.
We reach for the self-improvement books or we reach for cake, we go for a walk to blow the cobwebs off and try to clear our heads. But how can you clear the thought of not knowing what’s wrong with you? Especially after 41 years of asking.
Well maybe it’s a paradigm, maybe it’s that little thought in your head that’s wrong, not the amazing power that you are, maybe it’s years of parenting, teachers, spouses asking you the same question and you not realizing it’s now forever embedded. Maybe.
Either way your conscious brain is running the show and it’s not a good feeling. I wonder all the time am I on the right track, who am I to talk about Happy-Me to others, what have I done.
And then you get the ripple. You get a friend who you’ve helped in the past say the magic words “I had a problem the other day, I wasn’t sure what to do and then I thought…” and this makes everything worthwhile “…what would Paul say?”
He went on to tell me the problem and what he decided to do. How he’d unstuck himself from where he was and focused on where he wanted to go. The decision was to move forward not backwards and he was happy to have done it.
So screw what’s wrong with you. There’s something wrong with all of us when we think about it, but why do we think about it so much. Stop giving so much thought to the past and come back to the present. Be where you are now and find something to be grateful for, your breath alone is magic happening you’d never try to fix that would you.
If you want to move forward place your focus on your goal. Write it down and stay on track toward it. You will soon find maybe the zoo will become the world’s greatest holiday park and the holidaymakers have arrived to experience something magical. A day they will never forget, and they will take the memories home to their families and tell them all about it, and then the ripples will be endless. Maybe that’s when you’ve changed the world.
Your goal should be your incredible dream, that one thing you work towards everyday. Ask that voice in your head a bigger question “What do you really want?” When you shift your thinking to your goal then you forget what is wrong with you and you just get moving forward – it’s a law of the universe.
Maybe the world’s the Zoo and you are the only sensible one here. Maybe but let’s hope not, being sensible sounds like conformity and the opposite of courage isn’t cowardice it’s conformity. The opposite of love isn’t hate it’s indifference. Don’t be indifferent take a risk and trust yourself, because you are amazing. Decide what you want and take dead aim at it.
Have a great day my friends. Just be you everyone else is taken.